Sunday, 23 October 2011

They never told me I would Realize What I wanted to do

By encountering a real life situation.

I was planning on attending school come January to become an Administrative Medical Office Assistant.
I thought this would be perfect for me. I had thought of social work over the years and my larger than life heart I thought would lead me wrong.
I get attached easily, I open the door for too many, I want to save the world. I also wear my heart on my sleeve.

With that being said I felt that getting into social work would lead to heart ache caused by getting too attached to the client. However I had  a realization last week that I can indeed get attached with out getting too attached to someone, What I did made me very proud.

I was on the bus and a woman came on she appeared to be in her 30's. Clearly intoxicated beyond control Everyone thought she was a "Loser" "drunk" or "Sick" I knew the signs as soon as I looked at her. Her eyes held pain and I knew she needed help but I wont lie I was afraid to even talk to her, Not knowing what she was on or how she would react I started watching her. Realizing the eyes she was giving people where that of pain and wanting help.

I got off the bus at the subway station and listened to her stumbling about I started thinking of how guilty it was of me and how I could not let her get near the tracks if she could not keep her balance I was afraid of her falling over. Getting killed was a major possibility with her. Given that she could not walk straight and kept falling over. I waited at the bottom of the escalator and decided to take my chances and approach her.

I touched her arm gently and said
"Are you alright"
She sneered and said "What the F**K do you care"
I replied with "I care because you are human as am I and we should help each other"
She started crying and collapsed on me
So I guided her to a bench and asked her what she was on
Her eyes rolled back and she said "Herion and she said you know you are the first to care... and ask "are you ok ""
I was immediately alarmed but kept calm and asked her how much did you take
She told me not enough I then knew she was not going to OD In the middle of my speaking with her as she was shaking ready for her next "Hit".

I started talking to her deeply about life and my history and just asked her
"Is this worth it"
She said "No, I have a 5 year old daughter I think shes starting to know"

We got coffee and in the span of half an hour I convinced her that permitting as I will not force her I will go with her and support her and take her to rehabilitation.
After talking some more she said
"Yes but will it hurt "
I said"Of course but a week of hell is worth  a life of happiness with your daughter, Do you want your 5 year old to have to bury her Mother or be proud of what her Mother overcame?"
She said "I want her to be proud"

With more talking we made our way into down town and I escorted her into as I kept calling it sanctuary. She after speaking with nurses admitted her self with my help into a one year locked rehabilitation. She will not be able to leave the institution for half a year  to one year pending recovery. I also called her mother and tied up the loose ends regarding her daughter and offered to remain in Let's call her "K" for short, Life to help her in this hard time as her sponsor but nothing more .

I am really proud of her firstly for doing this. The first step is indeed the hardest. And I am proud of my self for being able to do this and not get fully attached.
With this being said I am changing my career path to Drug addiction and Mental health Psychiatrist / Counselor/Social worker. I feel this is the right choice.

Many people have turned to me over the years and feel I am easy to trust and talk to perhaps it is my no bullshit mentality? Or perhaps I am raw and real I have battled addiction , I have been homeless , I have built an empire and lost it, I am truly human I am me nothing more nothing less nor do I feel the need to be.

Signing off for now
The Mom

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